Incremental steps lead to big change

"My experience is that the way we all actually change, if we look at it, is little bit by little bit. You know, small steps taken consistently is the way that it happens." —Eric Zimmer

Podcaster, coach, and author Eric Zimmer was recently on Elise Loehen's podcast Pulling the Thread to talk about his new book, How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life. As a person who's been making both large and small changes in my life over the last several years, I was taken with the gentleness and realistic-ness of his approach.

I loved a lot about this conversation, starting with the two individuals having it — both are smart, deep thinkers who can handle nuance and complexity. Eric comes from lived experience and a framework of recovery, and because my father was an alcoholic who eventually found sobriety via AA, the recovery framework is familiar and comforting to me. Additionally, Eric has a Buddhist Zen approach, which involves awareness and self-compassion.

One phrase he used during their conversation really struck me — "the long middle of change." That's what the movie montages skip over, and our "want it now, give me a pill, fix this immediately" society doesn't like. Making long-term changes in incremental steps is a looooooooong, on-going process of consistently choosing what you want in the long term versus what you want right now. And that can be really not fun.

Eric also addresses two aspects of change: the structural and the emotional. So, if you want to eat healthfully, then structurally it'll make sense for you to clear out your fridge and cabinets of junk, restocking them with healthier options. But the emotional component looms equally as large — learning to feel your feelings instead of eating them or retrain your impulse to eat with other options. In order for change to last, both bits need to be addressed.

How a Little Becomes a Lot is on my TBR list, so I'll most likely write a post about it one day. But in the meantime, this conversation made me feel like I don't have to run a bootcamp to get where I want to go. I can do it by being kind to myself, by being steady in my actions and choices, and by allowing that getting off track is part of the process.

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How A Little Becomes A Lot by Eric Zimmer, Podcast Host of The One You Feed

The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life. How a Little Becomes a Lot starts with a radical premise: your mind has a mind of its own. Each day, it pulls you in countless directions—toward what you value most, what you desire now, away from what you fear, and toward what feels comfortable. Real, lasting change happens when you stop trying to strong-arm this complexity and instead learn to work with it, one small choice at a time.